fragrances for the poor

- Why don't you try and be positive in your newsletters, for once, I'm told.
- But... is it negative to say that I don't understand a certain type of art discourse? Is it really more negative than the art in question? Actually, I never spoke about art; I only quoted what was said about it.

OK. I know. It's listening to the laments, which is rather unpleasant. It's like in court, I guess. Complaints, claims, demands... In Pakistan, rape cases require four male witnesses - they could well be consenting, the moaning bitches.
It's like with old people. They always hurt somewhere somehow. Or it's like with the Roms in the Parisian tube, they just whine- and that's too much, one doesn't give anything anymore.

So no more crying. No more snivelling.
- Ugh... Can I still quote stuff though?
- Yeah, but not friends.
- All right then. Let's be positive!

« Every baby is an angel » (Jennifer Lopez)
« For Jennifer Lopez, now is the most perfect moment in her life. Poised between pride in the past and promise for the future, she feels fulfilled as never before. Her spirit is soothed with serenity. Her heart overflowing with tenderness. There is no deeper love. No greater happiness than this. No words can describe it. But a fragrance can capture it.» Her marketing team I presume.
Is that positive enough? I've got nothing against her and she seems rather nice -although she's not in my playlist. The fragrance is called MY GlOW (site).

There's also LIVE and one cannot say that it is openly negative. Strictly speaking, she doesn't insult anybody: « Everything and anything is possible » -the quote- and the press release: « She is totally and powerfully herself, completely in control. »
Now, I'm writing from France, and ooooh Powerful and in control... they 're not gonna like that too much. Believe me, I'm the boss here, and I know my job and I know women will think its sounds way too feminist. A little google search and here you are (translated from French) « with this fragrance, J Lo celebrates her passion for dance »
There's also LIVE LUXE - cheaper it seems, which French teams chose to market with « it's my signature, my fingerprint » (site)
- You see, you're being negative again!
- It's just a little translation problem, nothing really. You don't wanna be too literal now do you?

Seriously, they're on the case at Coty. On their site, they announce their business pitch in a rather straightforward way: «Your message in a bottle.» (site) « Faster. Further. Freer. (...) Welcome to the official website for Coty Inc. Think of it as the front door to our unrivalled portfolio of brands, our talent, and our vision for the future. We invite you to open this door. To be informed. To be inspired.»

Coty also makes PRINCESS.
Ooh, this is a term I don't like, I must say. It's quite trendy in the rap world. But what? Blood? Birth? For the upper class as well as for the slaves, I don't get the birth thing... Kids stories? The ruling class, the noble families? A chief's daughter? A king's grandchild? A prince's wife? What a weird fantasy. I'm actually close to disgust thinking of the princess smell. Gadhafi's daughter, is she a sort of princess for example?

With Britney, we are extra-positive. On her French web site you can discover the list of all Carrefour shops- supermarket outlets with the advertising motto « with Carrefour I'm positive! or I positivate » (site)... On her US site she enters a fortune-teller's room « Do you want me to tell you your future?  No thanks, I choose my own destiny. » (video)
« Choose your own destiny »
With BELIEVE there's an even stronger quote: « The greatest freedom is to believe in yourself ».

Lady Gaga, is also preparing her perfume and guess what... «it will contain controversial notes of blood and semen» - controversial? who says? I was imagining something including cyprine, but hey... with the number of advisers in her stable, there must be very very good marketing reasons to choose sperm over cyprine.

Or... if you prefer, there's Kylie. You didn't expect her not to launch her own perfumes, do you? Well, it's very positive again, with a more direct address to the audience. « Ok everyone, it’s about your inner sparkle.»  (video) It's like in art, it's about something, Soon the fragrance industry is going to question notions, put them in perspective and maybe even go beyond boundaries. Take this quote for example is it art or perfume? « *** itself has an element of paradox and goes out often tradition outline. » It's COLOGNE DU 68 by Guerlain. I was trying to give you the official translation for this one « It proves again that when you give your body, you're not far from promising your soul» but I only got: « Light and airy, an unforgettable love affair, an impulse, an ecstasy. It is waking up with a smile and going to sleep with a memory, it is a thousand details, words, kisses, it is ardour and intensity.» This time it's the US or UK boss who said: «No, I can assure you I know my job, and this one won't go down too well...» Maybe it was from the old man from Guerlain who claimed on television, that he once worked like a nigger to create his famous perfume... adding that he didn't know if niggers even worked that much...

For « a woman who loves life, laughs out loud and follows her heart; about female inner beauty, her confidence, passion and sensuality” there's BELONG by Dion (nominated for two FiFi Awards: Fragrance of the Year and Best Packaging in the category of Women's Popular Appeal).
For «  (...) confidence and a bold, masculine attitude » there's FIERCE by Abercrombie & Fitch.
For « (...) the representation of a spiritual state, based on the paradox of an impossible ephemerality. (...) perfume as art (...) an animal carnality with salty hints of sweat and urea.» there is PETITE MORT by Marc Atlan. (*)

But at the top of my list there's the great philosopher and sociologist Calvin Klein. Here they are, not in chronological order, and not in the historical context they so well symbolise. Ethnological marketing.
LIKE - CONTRADICTION - ETERNITY - EUPHORIA - CRAVE - IN2U - ONE - TRUTH - ESCAPE - OBESSION.
I'm probably not the target here, as I do have trouble imagining me in the morning hesitating between TRUTH, CONTRADICTION and ETERNITY. I must admit I use to wear POUR UN HOMME from Caron, but since rugby player Sébastien Chabal is the face for it, I find it difficult. Too much hair really. Way too much. You see, wearing a packaged fragrance, over-marketed, symbolised by a star with an ultra-positive message about life and self-realisation... I can't. I smell the marketing chiefs. Their armpits, their neurons and their marketing synapses.

Rich people -real ones- don't wear fragrances with messages. Trendy people, they do like the rich in some cases, or they go for humour with FAT ELECTRICIAN (site) or choose L.A.M.B. (Love Angel Music Baby). Sorry Gwen, but I cannot not hear lamb and smell a sheep barn here. Must be my past. Michele Scannavini, president of Coty Prestige Worldwide says « We are impressed by how global she is.» (*)

All right: « Perfumes have been used since antiquity to cover animal, kitchen or corpse smells » It's from wilkipedia. Is it OK? Nobody's hurt?

By the way, I've just made a small domestic installation call FRAGRANCES FOR THE POOR.